You have a passion for PCs, but has it gone too far? If you find yourself getting into screaming matches over the best operating system, or can’t understand how people function with fewer than three monitors (you have six), maybe it’s time to unplug. Here are 10 ways to reveal if you’re obsessed with tech.
1. That's not a biro in your top pocket
It's the world’s most pressure-sensitive stylus with a slew of programmable buttons and a laser pointer on the other end, designed to look like a sonic screwdriver.
2. You've become part of the Internet of Things
Your body is covered in wearable sensors 24/7 that transmit everything, from your blood pressure to your bowel movements, into the cloud.
3. You're actually wearing smart glasses
And you wear them to bed. And you've waterproofed them so you don’t have to take them off in the shower.
4. If it's in stock, it's obsolete
But you appreciate the vintage charm of the latest smartphone nonetheless.
5. You create and fix malware for fun
Some people do crosswords, others like Sudoku. You prefer to puzzle out the best way to create a botnet to play Rick Astley on every computer in the world.
6. You haven't worn a suit to work since your initial interview
Hugo Boss feels a little overdressed for crawling underneath desks to unplug cables.
7. You've programmed your Christmas tree lights
They now sync with whatever is playing on your mp3 player. The angel on top is a cute little robot with wings.
8. Big data makes your life decisions for you
You have a dashboard for your life – it tells you what to eat, when to sleep, how much exercise to do and if you have any friends left.
9. You haven't used a TV aerial in years
You get all your media online and stream it from your laptop to your flat screen. If someone hasn’t uploaded it, it probably isn’t worth watching.
10. Family holidays are spent fixing Granny's ancient PC
It’s secretly a joy because it takes you back to the nostalgic excitement of installing Windows 95 for the first time. But you’re not sure how you’ll break it to Granny that BonziBuddy has died.
Do you tell jokes that bomb if the audience doesn’t consist of fellow coders? Do you program your own blog on your own server because code bloat makes you physically sick? Share your pain and tell us how misunderstood you are.
